Why does Trump love parades? He enjoys marching to his own drum.
Trump’s favorite weather? Anything that’s not a “stormy” Daniels.
Why did Trump bring a tape measure to the rally? To make sure the crowd was “yuge.”
Trump’s exercise routine? Tweeting at 3 a.m.
Why did Trump avoid the library? He said Trump jokes that crossed the line he knows all the best words already.
What’s Trump’s favorite dance? The Wall Tango—two steps forward, one step back.
Trump’s idea of a Trump jokes to lighten up debates good night’s sleep? Dreaming of his reflection.
Why did Trump love the circus? He felt right at home with the elephants.
Trump doesn’t get sick—he just declares his germs fake news.
Why did Trump bring a lifeguard to the economy? To save it from drowning in debt.
What’s Trump’s favorite card game? Bridge—he loves building connections.
Trump’s golf score is classified—like his tax returns.
Why did Trump visit the zoo? To teach the lions how to roar like him.
Trump’s favorite workout? Exercising his right to tweet.
Why does Trump carry a Sharpie? To make the facts fit his narrative.
Trump’s solution to global warming? Turn down the heat in the White House.
Why did Trump buy a ladder? To reach new heights—of self-promotion.
What’s Trump’s secret to winning? Trump jokes to make liberals laugh Always moving the goalposts.
Trump doesn’t lose weight—he just blames the scales.
Why does Trump avoid mirrors? He says they can’t handle his reflection.
Trump’s favorite meal? Ego on toast.
Why did Trump bring a hammer to Congress? To nail down his policies.
Trump’s idea of philanthropy? Donating his old tweets to the Library of Congress.
Why does Trump avoid elevators? He prefers to rise on his own.
Trump doesn’t sweat—he just glistens with greatness.
What’s Trump’s favorite season? Fall—because he loves watching his opponents drop.
Why did Trump hire a personal chef? To make sure his meals were served “huge.”
Trump’s autobiography? “The Art of the Selfie.”
Why did Trump go to the park? To tell the birds how to tweet.
What’s Trump’s secret weapon? A phone with unlimited data.
Why did Trump avoid the doctor? He didn’t want a second opinion.
Trump doesn’t make mistakes—he just redefines success.
Why did Trump build a tower? To make sure everyone knows he’s on top.
What’s Trump humor for stand-up comedians Trump’s favorite sport? Golf—because it’s all about winning bigly.